Never Give Up

Finding Inspiration in Every Turn

In 2019 my dear friend Paul Scully-Sloan passed away after battling cancer. Paul and I had met online when I was seeking information on how to help a bereaved dad. In fact it was support for my husband, I thought if he could speak or chat to other baby loss dads somehow he would understand what I was going through. Wow what an introduction it was and one which I look back and smile, as little did I know it was the start of a beautiful friendship. Paul was in fact the founder and director of "Daddys with Angels" his charity and his baby. When Paul was in hospital he still continued to work from hos hospital bed, and giving me his weekly lists on what needed doing. His Admin team like so many others were distraught and barely manging to cope without him. He continued to post and update the volunteers and bravely decided to share his journey, shave his hair off to raise funds, and prepare himself when the time was right to say goodbye. 

Over the years we had shared idea's, rowed, and created a friendship that no one could break. I could not stay angry with Paul, even when I knew he was in the wrong. He has this charismatic aura about him, he could get away with murder with his smile and witty jokes, and at times he truly did. But underneath that armour was a bereaved dad, who had not only lost his son T.J. due to SIDS but had come full circle on his journey. Weeks before Paul was diagnosed with cancer he had won a custody battle to have his son's ashes returned to him and the right to bury him. Myself and Harry stayed by his side through the whole process, from the trips to London High Court, to researching and getting help from Barristers. Because Paul being Paul wanted to represent himself. He won and TJ was returned home to him with his favourite toy story characters on his tiny box that held his ashes. No matter what life threw at Paul "He never gave up" and it was something that has kept me going since he passed away 5 year's ago.

Before Paul died he had me run a Chemo Challenge for funky hats for patients to wear and have a choice of within the hospital. His target was 50 and then 100 , then we hit 500. To date we have now delivered over 1350 chemo hats and I am so proud that we have been able to support children, men and women across the UK who battle this disease daily.. As Paul was dying he talked about what projects we should continue to work upon, ideas that he had for the hospitals, and a catalogue where parents had the ability to choose what they would like for their baby or child free of charge, as well as a special Memorial Garden.  Paul hated money, hated managing it, spending it, and detested talking about it, unless it was grants that could be applied for. So needless to say Paul wanted parents to have what they needed without worrying about where the money was coming from. Which is why when he died I set up two new projects "Dressed with Dignity" and "Never Give Up". Dressed with dignity would offer parents the choice of cribs, burial wear. flowers, and making memory/keepsake boxes free of charge. Whilst "Never Give Up" would focus on bringing a smile to those battling cancer.

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We provide "Dressed with Dignity" to 25 NHS hospitals across the UK and our "Never Give Up" campaign runs in NHS Birmingham Queens Hospital, Christie's Cancer Hospital in Manchester, and we support a home from home (Jacks House) for children up to the age of 25 years who are under going cancer treatment. From handmade with love chemo hats, to art and crafts, toiletries, Christmas and Easter hampers. Myself and Harry have grown close to all the teams who work within these units and are honoured to be running this project in Paul's memory. His logo is his favourite animal 'PIGS' which are now his signature and he has his very own line of hats handmade, Never Give up is what it says on the tin, and something Paul taught me throughout our friendship. There have been many times I have wanted to close the door and then I remember what he told me one afternoon when I said I was closing down APUK. If they took my leg away it would say Baby Loss Community, and I am a giver, carer in this world. I have to look at how I got a second chance not just with my marriage, but life itself. So, whenever it all gets too much I take that week off. I go back to basics and learn to connect with myself and remember "My Why"  which keeps me heart beating everyday.

In loving memory of a beautiful friend, mentor, leader, father, son, and uncle who is sadly missed by those who knew him, and those who still today our touched by his legacy that offers the support so needed.